You Can't Get There from Here

My name is Anthony and I'm a curveaholic. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't unabashedly fantasize about long, sensuous curves.

I'm not lusting after the curves found dangling from brass poles in dimly lit gentleman's clubs. (Although those aren't too bad either). I'm addicted to the sweeping, onyx ribbons of pavement that meander on for miles and undulate with the Earth.

There is nothing I love more than the experience of driving on an incredible road.

The dilemma is that I live in south Florida. South Florida curveaholics can't get their fix any easier than an alcoholic in Mormon territory. This is a dry town.

The irony of living here is that we have all the ingredients that make it an enthusiast's paradise except that one magical spice. Curves. We are blessed with gorgeous tropical weather year round and pot-hole free, billiard table smooth roads but they are straighter than the EKG of a corpse and equally full of life.

Driving enthusiasts such as myself are forced to get a little creative for their fix. Aside from the local autocross events and track days, I've found a unique solution for my Sunday drive. Thanks to modern technology and Google Earth's eye in the sky I've found several local "test tracks" in the most mundane places.

Business parks.

The over-commercialization of our area has spawned a boom of enormous business parks. These areas are simply a massive track of land littered with large tilt-wall constructed buildings. Fortunately for me, these monstrous aberrations of industry are interconnected with curvy sub-roads punctuated with massive, open parking lots.

Translation, I've found four wheel drift nirvana right in my backyard!

Of course this is no drive through Big Sur or the Tail of the Dragon but it will have to suffice. I'd love to walk the Earth like an automotive Kwai Chang Caine in search of the perfect road but it will have to wait until I win the lotto or go to the Mugello in the sky. (God is a tifoso of course so heaven's home track is Mugello!)

My business park version of Spa does have some perks. If you get your lap time in on the weekends there isn't a soul around. The police aren't hiding around the next bend to decrease your bank account. Unless someone complains you'll have the area to yourself. Another added bonus is the safety of not having any other traffic or pedestrians to worry about. The last thing any of us want to do in our quest for driving thrills is to put any innocent people at risk. If the area isn't dead as Macaulay Culkin's career come back another time.

So you see there is hope for suffering curveaholics. I know it's not the most idealic solution but it's better than leaving it in one gear and using the cruise control. If you are a fellow enthusiast who is in the same painful geographical predicament you might want to fire up Google's satellite to see what possibilities might be going undriven.